So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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