his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
