i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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