does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
