His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Im part way to drunk.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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