I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize