Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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