the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
