did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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