It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In America we eat man semen.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize