I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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