Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
