Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
