Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
