I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
