i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
