Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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