This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
