Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize