wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My breasts were aching with rage.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
