you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
