He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
