just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
