tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
