I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
