I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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