So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize