I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
