Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
