Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
