I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
