Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize