Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
