Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
They have beer where we have blood.
Damn victory sex feels great
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
