you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
