Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
