oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
