...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
