I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Are my feet made of real feet?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize