you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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