I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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