Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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