we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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