i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
