It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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