Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
