Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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