I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
