when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
