oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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