So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
