i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
