marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
