whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The ass gains better be worth it
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