If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
