That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
