so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
