He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
