how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
