umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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