do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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