Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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