Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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