The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
