I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
