Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
